Layercake London

When is cake worth £183m? Ahh..in wonderful London of course..splendidly expensive London that is..the city where he that is bored of it must be bored of life…walking around with one eye on the calendar, counting his non-dom-res days. Where the great and good come to see and be seen. Full of culture, history and plenty of billionaires..72 at last count, they may be neither cultured nor have moral histories, but they’re here. From multi-billion-pound overtures by US firms à la Pfizer/AstraZeneca, record numbers of Big-Ben gazing tourists (16.8m in 2013..topping Paris..sacré bleu!), battles to expand an over-stretched Heathrow (recently overtaken by Dubai’s monster-hub) and talk now by the Bank of England that interest rates my rise within a year due to the strengthening economy (next year’s forecast increased from 2.7% to 2.9%  growth), a multitude of factors are converging on this increasingly strained, yet somehow still effectively functioning Uber-app-loving bastion of wealth. From homes in a rather ugly apartment building overlooking Hyde Park (selling for £160m now), to newly-built mansions on Bishop’s Avenue swiftly-selling at £22m (can you spot the one moving money out of an iffy jurisdiction?) everything is increasing in price as this safe-haven for those that have made it - and others looking at them wondering how they made it - continues to grow in allure, further cementing itself as truly the world’s capital.

Five years after the height of the financial crisis in the UK, as if on cue, official figures show the number of people out of work in the UK fell to a fresh five-year low of 2.2 million. The jobless rate has also fallen to a five-year low of 6.8% and the number of people in work risen to 30.4million, the highest since records began in 1971, helped by an increase in self-employment. Not surprising really, when taken in the context of a humble-cake maker’s beginning in 1920s Soho to the omnipresent brainchild of a maestro (Luke Johnson) of Halal-Chicken selling pizzeria (his Pizza Express empire)…Patisserie Valerie is to be valued at £183m when it floats on London’s AIM. No issues with Halal doughnuts there! Despite not being a part of the 26-member Shengen and causing endless headaches for especially Chinese tourists that have to endure another arduous application-process to buy even more LV handbags..oopps..meant to get into the UK..everyone seems to want to enjoy a slice-of-cake in London at the moment (particularly delicious at Conticini’s Marlyebone “Reve” outpost..wow!).

London has always been regarded as one of the true melting pots of the world. In today’s fast-paced ever-changing environment of tech and constant movement caused by FOMO (the annoyingly artificial yet incredibly motivating Fear Of Missing Out) it seems the city is entirely re-inventing itself virtually every month – from new exhibitions to trendy hotel openings (three in the last quarter, with more to come) and hot restaurants with three month waiting lists (easily broken into with a smoothly executed note-filled handshake), every major chain-owner and successful leisure venture wants a piece of the London-pie. Yes the media causes much of this foofaraw, yet is it simply reacting to the consumer/Twitter led fashion-setters or working to generate it? No one seems to know anymore whether the the dog is doing the tail-wagging or…

As is of often the case in such societies where the extremely rich rub shoulders side-by-side with an open and frequently blood-thirsty liberal media, some are watching those enjoying the fruits of their labour with a somewhat envious and (only slightly) overly-cynical eye, labelling the excesses of London’s Mayfair lifestyle as the Vulgaratti (whether or not they actually wear the brand from whence that lovely description is derived). Some can be excused for taking out their wit and economic frustration on those that do enjoy showing juuuuust a little too much…is it really necessary for some London-dwellers to travel around in a cavalcade and human-shield contingent larger than that of a recently visiting US John Kerry?...but that is exactly what makes London so interesting – there’s always a bigger fish sitting within spitting distance. There are the fish that like to splash about and generate waves…intent on being noticed…others more content (and subjectively more classy) to remain skimming beneath the surface, having learnt that those that should know who they are..well..they already know. Oh the joy in witnessing the embarrassed facial expression of a questionable “wanna-be” come face-to-face with the most feared peer in the ocean, a true blue whale, swimming with power rather than simply ostentatious wealth. 

Respect for power is always greater than the adoration of wealth. Once again it is that developing dichotomy of ultra-modern-wealth – ultimately the more you have..the more you begin to want more of less. Less crowds, less fluff, less of everything in everyway except the way you want it. There is a reason exclusive destinations, homes and and hard-to-find products (known to economist as Giffen goods) are more in demand the heftier their price-tag. Yes, that means people want to buy something more the more expensive it is (Cristal champagne were quick to notice this when they increased their prices by just enough to pip Dom Perignon to the top of most establishment’s lists – understanding the psychological trend of prancing in and exclaiming “bring me the most expensive bottle you have!”). Quality amidst the exclusive set is no longer a paradox of being simply unattainably exclusive by some, it must be unreachable by all others but them.

London also offers that. You want to sit at home in your private cinema room, far away from the masses as possible, in your 20metres- -below-earth’s-surface-bunker whilst watching the latest episode of the effervescent and nail-hitting-every-time “Have I got New For You”? – so be it. Or do you want to head to one of the plethora of private members’ clubs (that somehow always seem to capitulate the “private” part and let everyone in at 11pm) surrounded by an entourage of suspect looking “friends” eager to drink as much of the bar-tab your monthly account can handle, stopping only for the glare of flashing paparazzis with a mock expression of “please don’t put me in the Daily Mail tomorrow”  - nooo.,.of course not..not before your PR manager has had a chance to carefully vet and touch-up the photo first, naturally darling. How else does an (admittedly fantastically fun) restaurant in a not-so-trendy area become one of the most popular destinations by word-of-mouth - well nothing is word of mouth really when a simple tap of a screen connects you to 1 million followers that you will never meet nor mouth anything to in the true sense of the word - Chiltern Firehouse, you know who you are.

Does all this in-your-face excess and joyful living bring with it a sense of increased danger as well? A recent incident in a top-notch 5 star hotel in Knightsbridge (that was not made public) saw a visiting guest have a dress stolen right from the closet it was hanging in, only to be told by hotel staff to “prove it” - well, there’s a notion of guilty until proven innocent clumsily mixed with an incredulous lack of customer service nor appreciation of an influentially negative TripAdvisor review. Power was always in the hands of the customer, now it is in a million customer hands…in an instant. The overall crime trend has been confirmed as falling in London however and these incidents are thankfully more rare than common –for now. Further discussions this week of rising animosity towards the super-island of wealth that London represents in an otherwise more modestly recovering nation making headlines, however the boiling-masses have not begun to spill out of their increasingly boisterous UKIP-pans quite yet.

From start-ups to world-class conglomerates, London not only offers a geographically superior locale for its workforce and ambitions, it offers a near-perfect and malleable combination and balance of the work/life divide. Yes there are often hiccups (at this point you mention the weather..although there are those that appreciate the rain!)..nowhere is perfect..and there are many other cities around that are great to live in, as diverse and culturally varied this world is, yet London is arguably in a league of its own at just being..well..great. Few places exist where such an amalgamation easily blends and truly mixes – where other cities profess diverse ethnic melting-pots yet in reality express close-knit clans only mixing during the day, London effortlessly glides through. 

In a city where the biggest discussion topic one encounters in-an-always-magnificently-educational-black-cab-ride is either the weather or latest celebrity sighting, allowing those that can to tightly-embrace all the city has to offer, is almost also worth putting up with seemingly diamond-encrusted desserts.